Forgiveness. For an unlikely candidate.

For weeks I heard the nagging voice of my past, whispering accusations and memories in my ear. Reminding me so eagerly of all the things I longed to forget. After all, “Regret can be a hard taskmaster”. It was a whisper so quiet, no one else could possibly hear, yet for me, so incredibly loud, it was all I could seem to hear.

One early morning, in the quiet; sleep barely out of my eyes, I was desperate for relief. Fiercely seeking a word, a calm, a peace-be-still for the swells that ravaged my mind. Not knowing what else to do, I began reading.

“While I can’t change the past, I am left with clear choices going forward. I can feel bad and the sadness will stay with me, or I can flip my mistakes into lessons for others.

You see, once you own a mistake, it no longer owns you.

God is a redeemer, and His redemptive nature extends into the deep caverns of our regrets and failures. When we bring our failures and regrets into the light, we find God’s redemptive love brings something beautiful out of the ashes.”

As I read the final words of this passage, I heard the still, small voice I had been longing to hear. Spoken directly to the deep caverns of my regret and failure. A word so profound, but even more simple.

For years, I had been focusing on obtaining the forgiveness of others. Recompense for the after effects of my past and its foul decisions. And yes, while this step is very important to the healing process, it is not the only step. That fact, I had forgotten, perhaps, never been taught. That morning, over coffee, the Holy Spirit pulled up a chair and in an instant, drowned the boisterous whisper of condemnation in my mind. By simply asking a question- peace settled into my soul…”Daughter, have you forgiven yourself?”

Mic drop.

Ask God’s forgiveness. Seek forgiveness from others. Forgive yourself.

“Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you.”

EPHESIANS 4:32 AMP

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